[Trubmeisters] Trailer Trash Tribune - Spring Swimsuit Issue
Date: 2002-05-03 09:36

Ya'all missed a great parDy last night.  All the locals were thar.  We
trashed Steve and MJ's trailer bigtime.

Upon arrival, we all went for a dip in the backyard pool.  It is really
nice with a slick clay bottom.  When you get out, you feel all nice and
clean.  Just wait for the clay to dry, and peel it off'n yer body.
Nutin' like a fresh mud pack to 'lease you days trubbles.  I'm telling
you that those womans hangin' round in their curlers and tight shiney
new pants was so hot that the water just 'bout boiled.

Looks like Steve only got's one chicken left.  It spent da night up on
da roof staring at us.  It's so skinny and pitafall lookin'.  He musta
been runned outta cracked corn to feed it.  Next time one of yous is
riding your lawnmower by, throw some corn in the yard fer it to eat.
If'n ya don't it's possible MJ may go hungry since dat's de only chicken
they got now.

That pool came in handy later in the night too.  You know how them
womans get.  May be only 2 of them in them faaacilties at a time, but it
takes 'em 4 times as long to do their bidness.  The guys had the
advantage, they could simply take care of things right thar from the
edge of the padEo.  With'n the pool being right next to it and all.

Dan had this really fancy shirt on.  It had a picture of a person with
no head on him.  He says it was the international symbol for "Need
Head".  Not to shore what that means, but seems ta me a fella can't make
it very long without one of them ya know. Any who, Them ladies all
decided that they could wear that shirt too.  So after a few shirt
swappins we got to see Dan's belly 'cause he ended up with the Britnee
Speeers special.  Once the dollar bills stopped flying, things got a
touch quieter.  Betty says she didn't do nutin', but we all know she
did!

The grub was preety satisfyin', if'n I may say so myself.  They was
fancy breads and dips made with real imitation fish flavored parts.
Also some swampy dip that looked like it growed outta the pool.  Mmmm
Mmmmm.  My tummies still growling just thinkin' 'bout it.  :-)  Someone
skinned them a critter and stuffed it into a tube, smoked it, and sliced
it into little meat patties.  A bit small, but with da fresh cheese and
crackers, it made for a great snack.

They was also some flat bread rolled up'n sliced into little bitty
pieces with some vittles inside them.  Seemed like last months curdled
milk was in there somewhere too.  Them was so good, I had a hard time
staying away.  I keeped walking by and grabbing more of 'em.

We had a ceEeleberity guest!  The brewer from Rock Bottom goes by the
name of Dave Bass.  Katie said she would take care of the treasury, and
paid him to speak last night.  Last I hearred we was preeety short of
funds in that there treasure, so I'm not sure just what she paid him
with.  When the lights go'ed out, we all wondered what that sound was.

Any who, He tried and tried to tell us about his brewery, but the pardy
just wouldn't quiet down nuff.  That's OK, 'cause I think he just wanted
to drink beer too.  He bringed along a 6 pack of beer from his
Eeestlabishmint.  I really took a likein' to his six pack carrier.  It
was about 2 feet square.  Course, had to be to carry them jugs he called
bottles.  What did he say them was?  Growlers or sometin' like that.  I
didn't hear 'em make any noise.  Got no idea where he came up with that
name from.  Just looked like shine jugs to me.  Best part is he was left
them for us to keep after wards.  Gonna have to fire up the still this
weekend to refill the one we getted to carry home.

We had a couple of neighbors who we don't see to often any more.  It was
good to see them and the people who only show up once or twice a year
too.  If'n yer one of those who never show up, don't be 'fraid cause of
these monthly notes.  This stuff is all made up anyhow!  :-)

Ya know, I never said about the beers we was imbibbbin on.  Near the end
I took to cyfering and made it up to 27 countin dem bottles and tap
handles!  Gotta be the best selection we never had ever!  They was beer,
mead, beer, wine, beer, beer, mead, beer, cider, wine, beer, beer, and
even more beer!  It just didn't never stop flowing.  You really had to
be at this one.  (Editor's note:  There really were 27 different things
to sample last night!)

Next month, we's all going over to neighbor Jim 'n Sue's trailer.  Gonna
be a ball.  They's not sure if they will be there, but they sayed to
just let usselfs in and enjoy.  See ya'all there!